What Am I [almost] Reading: The Handbook of Creative Writing
Maybe I should preface this by saying I am about to start reading this book. When I flipped through it and came across..
Chapter 1: Theories of Creativity and Creative Writing Pedagogy
..well, I thought to myself, ‘maybe I shouldn’t read this?’.. understanding the basic structures of writing and the theory behind it may help some but for me it seems like so many words that will just clutter the creative process and cause my eyelids to grow weary and the book to fall from my hand.. although by ‘book’ I really mean ‘PDF’.. I also have the following:
- English for Writing Research Papers
- Grammar and Writing Handbook
- Great Writing 2 Great Paragraphs 3 edition
- How to Say It Choice Words, Phrases, Sentences, and Paragraphs for Every Situation
- Paragraphs and Essays with Integrated Readings, 11th Edition
- Secrets To Writing Great Papers
- Spelling Simplified, which I will never read.. (there, they’re, their, bare, bear, etc)
- Top 20 - Great Grammar for Great Writing
- Writing American Style, (a manner of erasing my presumptuous British accent
While I may pour over a few of these in an effort to stir my creativity it was really just a reason to write this post.. which is writing, albeit not very much writing, it is still writing.
With that, I bid thee all, goodnight.. time to go watch Zombies chase Georgians around Atlanta.
By the way, why is it so difficult to just allow a < center > tag to work in a custom Tumblr theme? I use so many ”   ;” that it is just plain silly.. just saying..
I often get asked, ‘Hey asshole, whatcha reading in there?’
[this has happened to me on more than one occasion, the bathroom or loo is a wonderful place to take a load off and get some reading done with a modicum of privacy.. well, mostly.]
‘Hey asshole, whatcha reading..’ Well, since you asked so nicely I’m going to tell you exactly what I’m reading, AND, not only that, I’m also gonna show you WHERE I’m reading it.
Now don’t be a smartass expecting pictures of me in the can reading the latest biography of Saloth Sar or laying on a checkered blanket in the park flipping through a crisp Wall Street Journal, ((snooze)), it’s not WHERE I read but where you can read what I read..
1) The Resentment Machine: The immiseration of the digital creative class, or, Where Can I Use my Word of the Day, Autoethnography [HERE]
2) Towards a New Manifesto: Notes about rewriting the Communist Manifesto. Two self-proclaimed philosophers; Theodor Adorno and Max Horkheimer sat down to write an updated version of the Communist Manifesto.. because COMMUNISM Version 1.0 was such a hit, the article actually includes the following line:
Adorno: We ought to include a section on the objection: What will people do with all their free time?
Horkheimer: WHAAAAA! Did you say free time, wait a goddamn minute! Am I trippin? Hell yes!! I am trippin’ mad balls over here.. I thought you said, ‘free time’. ((pulls gun from waistband and shoots Adorno in the face))
What does vodka and unfathomable free time add up to? Hammers & Sickles! [HERE]
3) The Stroke of Genius Strikes Later in Life Today: Are you a genius? Are you under the age of thirty? Well suck it up n00bstein, you have eighteen years before you’ll know shit, much less pay off those PhD level student loans.. and even when you do, no one will call you doctor, except for maybe Dr. Dilbo Douchebag from 4A, the OTHER ‘not really a doctor doctor’ you hang out with.. remember, you two are Physicists not real Doctors, should my heart hurt I’ll call 911 if my gravity fucks up maybe then I’ll call you? [HERE]
4) Who in the Fuck is Saloth Sar: Wiki article shines light on non-mystery[HERE]
5) There Is No Number Five: Scientist have discovered the number five to merely be the sum of the number four and the number one, a trick designed from the beginning of time and was finally realized by an anonymous stoner in Birmingham this weekend who said it all came clear to him after ‘toking on some danky stanky sticky icky ick stick.. then Sesame Street came on and I was like.. Yo dawg, this is some harsh truth bubbling up in my lungs and shit.. this is all a lie, the show was not brought to me OR YOU by the number five and the letter E, YO! Four and One are fucking with us.. fuh-real now.. check it on Google and shit.. and then some porn popped up and I was like: SEE MOTHERFUCKER, GOATS DO IT MISSIONARY STYLE, LIKE YO MOMMA!! Then I munched out and forgot the proof.. but it seems pretty solid.. like mathnetically and all that brainiac type dudes are probably in on it.. but that might have been the meth kicking in?’ So he went on to explain how combustible engines worked and then I lost the rest of it when he took my tape recorder from me and proceeded to take it apart and put it back together looking for hidden recording devices in it.. But basically he said they conspired to fuck with nerds in general and mathematicians especially.. similar to the “Pi isn’t Pie” incident and has obviously ruined the Pythagorean theoremmuch to the chagrin of fans of right angles everywhere.
Copyright SPAZ 11-11-11 at 8:45:21
Copyleft SPAZ 11-11-11 at 8:45:59
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